DEATH... Literally death means "the end of life". When I write this blog, I gather all the courage in my heart and soul to express what I've been feeling.
Life is limited. I've always taken life for granted.....Never gave a thought to the fact that we all will abandon this world someday. Someday our life will lose its pace. Someday our breaths will take a halt. Someday all the dreams, the plans, the cheer would break all of a sudden...and life won't be "life" anymore...
I'll never forget those eyes, that excitement, the charm and the dreams that her heart held... I'll never forget those steps where we sat someday to talk about...DEATH. I'll never forget the comfort she always gave me...the care, the love, the concern she had for me....I'll never forget those endless discussions we had about every feeling, every hope, every smile, every tear and every part of life...
When the rain drops touch me...when the stars twinkle...when the sun beams...I just try to feel her presence in every iota of nature....may be because I can't accept that she has left me....because I know that she never wanted to go. She always loved whatever i wrote...and today when I write this for her, I can't stop the tears that wet my face...the tears that are still waiting for her to come and wipe them off...

After she left this world....DEATH seems to be something different altogether....I know death can't be something that's harsh or cruel...Death can't be darkness in light...Death can't be despair and grief...Death can't be insensitive and numb....Death can't be an END because she holds a light...a smile...a fearless and beautiful aura...and I know that wherever she is must be a place of serenity, purity, love and "LIFE".... A life better and more absolute than anyone can imagine...
"You'll always be there in my heart...I know I'll always miss you badly but... I've been trying to feel you and I know you're there...looking at me...smiling and trying to tell me that you're happy....and life is beautiful:-) "

I pray for your soul
For the serenity you hold,
I pray to find your presence
In the warmth and in the cold.
Thanks for being a part of my life
for your love and friendship too;
The only thing I wanna tell you is
"I REALLY REALLY MISS YOU"....

( Before I begin posting this blog....I just wanna tell everyone that right now i am not at all SAD....I wrote this blog long time back but never got a chance to post it....but today I wanna put it here....this blog is full of grief and losses but trust me ppl.....m not sad:-) )

After a very long time, I could gather the courage to sit down and write.... Whenever I write, I don't think a lot bcoz things come straight from my heart....donno why this time am thinking....I dont want to talk a lot about the tears, the losses, the sadness, the loneliness, the regrets, the helplessness.....that i encountered in the last few days...but the irony is that I can't even talk about genuine happiness bcoz even that has been missing. The moon and the stars in the night sky glitter like before but I can't see them smiling. The rays of teh sun still give me light but I can't feel their warmth. The soft and cool breeze still touches my face but I cant hear its whispers. The vast blue sky still makes me smile but I can't see GOD.

I'm flowing with the sea
I'm walking with the ways;
I'm smiling with the sky
And m passing these days..
But I feel something is missing
In the heat or in the frost;
And then I suddenly realize
That its me whom I've lost

I never wanted to lose myself and even today am trying to hold on to my real self really tight...but some parts have gone and the others are trying to break through....
Our desires, or dreams and our smiles don't touch us so easily because we need to realize their importance. This is because if we get all that we want so easily, then we'll lose ourselves even faster...Life has shown me something that very few people understand. I know there are thousands of ppl who are suffering and who are in pain...But I also know that everyone who feels pain is a very beautiful person...Every tear, every grief, every despair adds a beauty, a purity and a life in our real selves....
And that is why I accept the misery...n i hope that I'll touch the horizon...and I'll smile because someday I'LL FIND MYSELF AGAIN!!!

Though losses and tears broke me someday
But I still stood up to walk,
Every pain made me know who I am
And I could hear my soul talk...
Times that are tough are making me strong
I'm learning to dance in the rain,
And I know The sun will shine with hope
And I'll find myself again!!!

Now again i ve got a lot of spare time....time to think...to dream...to cry...to laugh n but ofcourse...to WRITE. I actually donno what should i write today. I can't recollect stuff that has happened after i wrote my last blog. There are still a number of things untold... a number of feelings not felt....and a number of tears untouched....Today the thoughts tht are crossing my mind compel me to think about HAPPINESS....I sometimes wonder about the wonders of being happy....n yeah i know that no one in this world is genuinely happy.....we all don't know WHY??? May be coz thr are very few people who understand about the depths of their lives....Everyone is busy, everyone has goals to accomplish, accolades to win.... but there is something that i diminishing with what we call "life"....This something is LOVE...I still can't see people coming up with a definition for love.....
A few days back i happened to read a book called "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho.... The writer's words transformed the definition of love in my eyes...n i realised something that hasn't been thought upon by a whole lot of people....i realised that LOVE is not a part of life....but life is a part of love.... We can harness the energy of the winds, the seas, the sun...But the day we harness the energy of love, that will be as important as the discovery of a new life.....Love is not about having an obsession for a person who has a charming smile...or beautiful eyes....or awesome looks.....NOOOO Love can't be so limited....love is as vast as the blue sky...love teaches us to feel that everything has a beauty behind it....love is everything that speaks to u not through words...but through feelings.....love teaches u what it means to follow ur heart....Love is a pain filled with pleasure....Love always brings in freshness...an energy that purifies one's soul and brings to us a kind of serenity never experienced before......Love is nothing n at the same time....LOVE IS EVERYTHING......
I jus know that happiness can be felt when u know ur soul...when u know ur heart...n when u feel love....because love has no bounds...love is free....free to touch ur heart....free to make u smile....n free to give u a new life....life that is filled with beauty....life that is filled with the true meaning of happiness....
Close ur eyes n feel the energy of love....don't run after love to catch it in ur fist....but let love follow u....let love be free....n let love conquer ur heart...because love needs u....n don't forget....U NEED LOVE TOO.....:-)